Saturday, March 13, 2010

God’s Presence in Tough Times

(I wrote these words just minutes before the death of one of my closest friends in ministry, Dr. Jerry McKinney. Jerry went home to be with the Father at 11:57 AM today after a lengthy battle with multiple myeloma.)

A dear friend is suffering through cancer, I want to believe that God will heal him, may heal him. I struggle with even choosing the words to use. Do I believe that God can heal? Absolutely. Do I have confidence that He will heal in this instance? Honestly, no. And that makes me feel like a man of such tenuous faith. I read promises about “asking” with faith. I read “is anyone sick among you, let him call for the elders…” I read of anointing with oil and effectual fervent prayer. And then I still hope that some combination of medical prescriptive and divine fiat will become the miracle today.

I am a man of faith. I am one who teaches others things concerning God. How then can I be so uncertain when the shadow of death begins to fall over my friend? Years ago, it seems, I had many more answers than I do today. I spoke with such assurance of things that I knew so little about. I had read some of the things of God and how He works among us. Although I had faced few soul shaking challenges, I had a head filled with information. I had answers.

Now, as I walk further into the days of my own journey, I have more questions; less hard and fast, easy answers. Does that mean that I have less faith? No. Somehow the faith has only grown as the questions have multiplied. God is in control, and one day I will understand much more than I do today. For now, it is enough to know His presence in the midst of unanswered questions.

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